By Rudy Mars (QSP)
Kalamazoo, MI — In a wide-ranging interview with local media—the first he’s granted since his book tour began—Andy Mozina admitted to being “incredibly humbled” by the success of his new book of short stories, QUALITY SNACKS.
“Never in a million years did I expect that people would love the book so goddamn much,” Mozina said, lounging on the porch of his surprisingly modest Kalamazoo home in a skin-tight body suit, including head-piece, of the sort worn by speed skaters. “It’s amazingly humbling to get this much praise. I couldn’t be more humbled if I were dragged naked behind a Chrysler PT Cruiser.”
Mozina took a long sip from a tumbler of pineapple-flavored vodka and gestured vaguely at the small tree standing between his sidewalk and the street.
“You know, when you set out as a writer, eating peas out of cans and stealing peanut butter from the pantries of clueless elderly neighbors who leave their kitchen doors unlocked right on the fire escape so you can basically walk in and take what you want while they watch TV, you can’t imagine how it’s all going to pay off. But it has. By god, it has.”
Mozina suggested that if anyone could stand seeing him humbled further, they were welcome to purchase the collection and post an extremely positive review of it on Amazon.com and Goodreads, as well as to vote for the collection on various Goodreads “Listopias,” including “Best Short Story Collections,” “Best Humor Writing,” and “Books Which Provoke Inner Thoughts.”
Andy Mozina 
I’ve seen this Mozina on the street and I quite like the cut of his jib. Good posture, lean muscular neck, determined stride. A man striding with purpose. A faint tang of Borkum Riff in his wake. Books, you say? Well fine. I wouldn’t care if he was illiterate, it’s enough just to see him ambulate like a centurion. You just keep moving forward, Mozina.
Thank you, Ironrod. Your support means the world to me. By the way, my stride is no accident, and the fact that you noticed, well, it means the world to me.